var quotes = new Array();
quotes[0] = ""The church says the earth is flat. But I know that it is round. For I have seen the shadow on the moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the church." --Ferdinand Magellan";
quotes[1] = ""Be like water, my friend." -- Bruce Lee";
quotes[2] = "Question everything.";
quotes[3] = "Without gorilla, can there be hope for man?";
quotes[4] = "Elder Gods, Shmelder Gods. Who believes that crap anyway? Hastur, Hastur, Hastur. See, nothing happ-";
quotes[5] = "How many conservative Oberlin students does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, provided we let him out of his cage.";
quotes[6] = ""What fun is being 'cool' if you can't wear a sombrero?" --Hobbes";
quotes[7] = "Make it idiot-proof, and someone will make a better idiot.";
quotes[8] = "rm -rf /bin/laden";
quotes[9] = "Somewhere in Texas, there's a village missing an idiot.";
quotes[10] = "Nuke a godless communist gay baby seal for Christ.";
quotes[11] = "The media are only as liberal as the conservative businesses that own them.";
quotes[12] = "Vote Republican. It's easier than thinking.";
quotes[13] = "Free the endorphins!"
quotes[14] = "Anyone who claims God is on their side is dangerous as hell.";
quotes[15] = "God, protect me from your followers.";
quotes[16] = ""Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell." --Edward Abbey";
quotes[17] = ""Common sense needs constant reappraisal." --Albert Einstein";
quotes[18] = "The Christian Right is neither.";
quotes[19] = "Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.";
quotes[20] = "All your base are belong to us.";
quotes[21] = ""When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities." -- Matt Groening";
quotes[22] = "1859: Charles Darwin publishes On the Origin of Species. Fundamentalists go ape.";
quotes[23] = ""My fellow Americans. I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes." --President Reagan, before a scheduled radio broadcast, unaware that the microphone was already on.";
quotes[24] = "Ninja Dating Tip #6: When you ask him "Is that a sword or are you just happy to see me," it's a sword.";
quotes[25] = ""I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid problem?'" -- Arnold Schwarzenegger";
quotes[26] = ""It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up." -- Muhammad Ali";
quotes[27] = ""And I think you will find, when your death takes it's toll... all the money you made will never buy back your soul." --Bob Dylan, Masters of War";
quotes[28] = "Cthulhu in 2004! Why settle for the lesser evil?";
quotes[29] = ""No, Sam. That's a crowbar. Let's pummel somebody!" --Sam & Max Hit The Road";
quotes[30] = "Percentage of American adults who say they could not "survive" without a television set: 19
--Harper's Index, December 1995";
quotes[31] = "Support bacteria. It's the only culture some people have.";
quotes[32] = "Just follow the instructions and sacrifice a goat. All will be well.";
quotes[33] = "Itchy. Tasty.";
quotes[34] = ""There is a fine line between `hobby' and `mental illness'." --Dave Barry";
quotes[35] = "Even Jesus hates Creed.";
quotes[36] = ""Love is the answer, but while you're waiting, sex raises some pretty good questions." --Woody Allen";
quotes[37] = ""I think that Moore's Law doesn't cover neuroscience." -- to Jacob";
quotes[38] = "Hand me my lightsaber. It's the one that says 'bad motherfucker'.";
quotes[39] = ""There are three kinds of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics." -- Mark Twain";
quotes[40] = "What's the difference between an Oberlin graduate and a large pizza? A large pizza can feed a family of four.";
quotes[41] = ""Big strong people do not need martial arts." --Ikeda Sensei";
quotes[42] = "My other machine is your Linux box.";
quotes[43] = "There's always room for Z-O-M-B-I-E.";
document.writeln(quotes[(Math.floor(Math.random() * quotes.length))]);